Tai Ji Men Qigong Academy

The Secret “Prescription” for My Family’s Laughters

I had barely been able to stand my mother’s nagging since I was a child. Once, my mom and I had a quarrel over whether I should boil water or wash the tea tray first. I really didn’t understand why my mom insisted on boiling the water first and then washing the tea tray while the water was being boiled. Well, her point of view probably made sense, but I had different voices in my mind, "I am not in a hurry, and I just want to do things my way. There is no law on boiling water kind of things, why should I always listen to you?" Not listening to my mom, she nagged me the whole night through. That night, I was like the Monkey King who was trammeled by Tripitaka’s head-aching spell, and I wished I could toss myself onto the ground to let out my anger. At that moment, I swore that I will never ever become a nagging woman.

However, when I became a mother, I unconsciously behaved like my mother. I never did admit that I am a nagger. I thought I was only "communicating" with my kids and teaching them the important principles of their lives, which is by far meaningless or nonsense. Besides, I did give them the opportunities to explain themselves. But I had not been understand why my kids usually responded with protects of silence and tears in their eyes. Thinking that I was such a "democratic" and "reasonable" mother but failed to have effective communications with my own kids, I felt frustrated, annoyed, and angry. Recently, I heard a brother’s sharing: "People like to tell so-called important principles of lives. You can tell but others wouldn’t be listening. Only the words of truth reach the ears of others." His words woke me up and made me realize that I had always been talking about principles and demanding that my kids follow my words. I recall several years ago Shifu, Tai Ji Men Zhang-men-ren Dr. Hong Tao Tze, taught us to change ourselves and if we have told the same thing to my kids three times, it’s time to stop because nagging will not help make our kids listen. At that moment, I was aware my nagging is like a non-stop tape recorder which continuously repeats and rewinds all day long. Now I always remind myself, do not tell things more than three times to avoid getting the opposite effects.

Since I got rid of my bad habit of telling "important principles", my kids and I get closer and we have better communication. Recently, Shifu reminded us to be always happy, to smile a lot and, to learn the true meaning of "speaking good words, speaking right words, and speaking corteous words." When I put them into practice, I usually made fun instead of preaching at home. For example, recently I receive my kid’s school report card and the scores of three subjects were under average. As the saying goes "To enjoy blessing and endure misfortunate together." So, Instead of stern preaching, I jokingly suggested the three of us family kneeled down on a soft mattress and proceeded a ceremony of repentance. In such a happy atmosphere, my kid realized that he needed to study harder. The strict mother was gone, now my kid called me "mother of laughter". As long as there is my presence, the house is filled with laughter. I have become the best friend of my kid and also the secrete "prescription" for my family’s laughter.