Becoming A New Me

Article:Zhi Xuan Tan / Picture:Zhong Shen Tu  2017-01-26

 

  My mother says that I spoke softer than a mosquito's buzz when I was little. When meeting new people, I would wrap my arms around her leg and not say a word. In the hopes of getting me to be braver and less shy, my mother took a leave of absence for a year and a half, taking care of me at home. One year later, I was able to greet strangers when I was introduced to them, but when I started preschool, I still needed my mother to accompany me in the classroom during school. Afterwards, no matter if I played soccer, took English classes, or took piano lessons, my mother would need to take me there six months in advance to get used to the surroundings and interact with the teachers and classmates there, lest my shyness get in the way of my learning.
  
  Last summer, my mother decided to go to Tai Ji Men for afternoon tea, and of course, my older brother and I wanted to tag along. Funny that as soon as I arrived at Da An academy and saw a group of white-clothed people smiling, I wasn't a bit afraid. I even told my parents that this was heaven. By the second time they took me to drink tea and asked me if I wanted to join Tai Ji Men, I said yes without hesitation. Tai Ji Men was very different from school. At school, if I didn't do things properly, I would often get "reminded". Whenever I was "reminded", I would get laughed at because I was a bad student. But at TJM, as long as I was willing to do anything, even if it was only raising my hand to go onstage, everyone would applaud me. When I was so scared onstage I could only get out two sentences, everyone would still applaud me and say I did a good job. My confidence grew. Last year on Happy Kid's Day, when a sister asked my brother and me if we wanted to share our Tai Ji Men experience onstage, we both agreed that we would use our favorite, two-person stand-up comedy method to strike up a conversation about the topic. I remember lying on my mother's lap just before going onstage, clutching my chest and telling her, "It's so scary, I'm so nervous." My mother replied warmly, "No problem, don't worry. Everyone's going to cheer for you guys. And your father and I will also be right by your sides!"
  
  When we went onstage, it was as my mother said. Everyone cheered and laughed with us, applauding madly. Even after we got offstage, there were lots of compliments saying we were brave.
  
  Afterwards, my brother and I went to various academies to share. No matter which academy we were at, everyone reacted the same way: full smiles, and full support. So, I believed more and more that facing a group of people to talk was an easy thing to do, and I wasn't afraid or nervous anymore. I became confident and brave, and it seemed like everything else came easier after that. I participated in a drawing competition, and made it to the national round. I won the New Taipei City prize in the Purple Ribbon comic competition. My English teacher encouraged me to join the English-storytelling competition, in which I won a regional prize. I even ranked the highest in my school's monthly tests, which I'd only dreamed of doing before. Furthermore, my brother and I have stood onstage Sun-Yat Sen Memorial Hall's auditorium and shared our Tai Ji Men experiences with the guests. That time, I was only a little bit nervous, and after I got onstage, I relaxed. I smiled and said everything I wanted to say. I'm grateful to my parents for bringing me to Tai Ji Men, for Shifu for teaching to be brave and believe in myself, and for the support of my brothers and sisters. Even when I didn't do well, they warmly shared their own stories to help me understand the situation, so that I could improve. Being brave is such a great feeling.
  
  去年兒童節時,師姊問我和哥哥要不要上台分享練功的心得,我和哥哥在很多師兄師姊的鼓勵下,決定要用我們很喜歡的「雙口相聲」方式來聊聊練功心得。還記得那天上台前,我癱在媽媽的腿上,一直摸著胸口說:「好可怕,我好緊張喔!」媽媽溫柔地說:「沒問題的,不用擔心,師兄師姊都會給你們正面能量的,會為你們加油打氣的,而且我和爸爸也會在旁邊陪著你們。」上台後,果然和媽媽說的一樣,師兄師姊很捧場地在我們抖包袱時大笑,在我們設計的梗上用力地鼓掌,我們下台後,還不斷有師兄師姊來讚美我們,說我們講得很棒、很勇敢!
  
  後來我和哥哥跟著媽媽到不同的道館去分享,我發現無論去哪個道館,師兄師姊都一樣笑容滿面的肯定我們,所以,我越來越覺得面對一群人說話是件容易的事情,也不那麼緊張害怕了。
  
  變勇敢、有自信的我,好像其他事情也做得更好了。參加畫圖比賽,入選了全國美展;參加紫絲帶漫畫比賽,獲得新北市的優等獎;英文老師請我參加英語說故事比賽,我獲得了分區的冠軍;連月考也考出了我夢寐以求的第一名。而且我和哥哥還曾經站上國父紀念館的演講廳,面對數百名來賓分享我們的練功心得,那次,我在上台前只有一點點的緊張,上台後就很輕鬆地、面帶笑容地把想說的話說出來。
  
  我很感謝爸爸媽媽帶我來太極門練氣功,很感謝師父教我要勇敢、要相信自己,很感謝師兄師姊都一直鼓勵我,即使我做得不好,他們也會很溫和的和我分享很多故事來讓我了解,原來我可以做得更好。變勇敢的感覺,真好!