Suitable love
Lin, Shang-Ling 2012-10-27
One day, as usual, I went as fast as I could to pick up my daughter in the primary class of a kindergarten after work, and then rushed for a bus. While waiting for a bus, I fed her the prepared snacks to appease her hunger. On the way home, she pointed at a noodle shop, said," I want to eat the spaghetti!" I told her," Mom bought it before, but you didn’t eat it." But she insisted to have it.
She started crying while walking, and exclaimed to be hugged. Then, I was carrying my own bag, her school bag, and the things bought in a market. I told her that her mom had been much like a Christmas tree covered with many things, no hand to hold her. She cried all the way home, meanwhile I was like a broken phonograph repeatedly playing the reason for rejecting her. The more I repeated, more anger I felt. My tone was getting harsh. Finally arrived home, unexpectedly she resisted taking a bath and washing hair. My goodness, she infuriated me!
After helping her taking a bath, put on clothes, my mind told me not to coax her. Moreover, she had practiced Tai Ji Men qigong for almost one year; she should know to introspect herself. I also needed to calm myself down. I seriously told her," Mommy is going to take a shower. You, in the room, carefully think losing the temper like this is right or not."
After shower, I opened the door, and saw her lying prone on the bed, guessing she fell asleep. I called her in a low voice," Have you fallen asleep?" Surprised me, she lifted her head and said with smiling," Mummy, I have thought it over!" Today is just the day for me to practice qigong in Tai Ji Men Academy. She stood up immediately and said," Mummy, let’s go to Tai Ji Men!"
At that moment, I doubted if she really thought it over. I wondered what she had figured out.
She quickly put on shoes. Before going downstairs, she looked back and reminded me, "Mummy, watch out while going downstairs!" Then, she walked from the forth floor by herself, did not ask me to hold her. On the way to Tai Ji Men, she happily sang the song and talked about things in school. The previous crying and tantrum seemed never happened.
On the way, I asked her," Did you really want to eat spaghetti?" She shook the head, said," I didn’t want to." and also said," I can walk the staircase by myself. It is unnecessary for Mummy to hug me." " After Mummy practices qigong, when we meet, I want to go home." Listening to what she said, it seemed she really had thought it over.
That night, after practicing qigong, as soon as she saw me, she immediately put on her coat, picked up her little backpack, and said," Mummy, let’s go home!"
In the past, she liked to play with Tai Ji Men dizi so much and was dilatory to go home. I never expected her to take the initiative. I was astonished! The following days, her behaviors were like "she had figured out." Occasionally, she could make schedules by herself. She would tell me to order the mixed rice in a stone pot first, and then went home to take a bath. After that, we can go and pick up the mixed rice, and then go to Tai Ji Men.
One year ago, my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter was accepted as a dizi by the approval of Shifu, and started practicing Tai Ji Men qigong. A lot of Tai Ji Men dizi said that they were touched when seeing little kids practice Tai Ji Men qigong and meditation. They are so little but they start learning to change themselves, help themselves to become better. Some Tai Ji Men dizi also said," Kids are very little but understand to practice moral teachings. Really envy them! If I could enter Tai Ji Men ten years earlier, I would have been much luckier for a decade."
When looking at her small figure, she can think over things at this young age, and adapting her behavior. As a mother, how touched my heart is!
The commercial slogan said that "a little but not too sticky." If we apply this phrase on the parent-child relation, it could be like "to dote but not to spoil." How much love can enable parents and children to grow up in harmony? How lucky I am to have Shifu to lead me to learn this life-long parent-child relationship issue!
