Tai Ji Men Qigong Academy

Magic of love, which turns stone into gold

I am an elementary school teacher. Last year I took the responsibility of head teacher in one of the sixth grade classes. (Usually I start as the head teacher in the fifth grade). At the beginning, I was aware of the special condition of Xiaohu. I didn’t understand his conditions at first, but I gradually observed his behaviors that he often acted to hurt others and made absurd enquiries in class, which influenced the progress of learning for the whole class. I was very worried.

One time, a student touched Xiaohu’s Christmas present he got from drawing without his permission. Xiaohu was so annoyed that he grabbed that classmate’s neck hardly. In order not to cause any accident and stop the fighting, I had to force Xiaohu to release his hands. Another incident was that Xiaohu tried to bite the other classmate’s neck when both were arguing to each other. Fortunately, I stopped him just in time to avoid any further injury.

Similar incidents happened almost every week. After few months, I was exhausted. A child like this, to me, is analogous to a bomb that might explode any time because his behavior is beyond expectation. Every morning when I woke up I was anxious and I felt even nervous when entering into the classroom. I became impatient and irritable.

Fortunately I have been practicing Qigong in Tai Ji Men for a while. I tried to discuss with fellow sisters who are teachers to learn about their experience in similar cases. I also did some research for further understanding for children’s behaviors. I suspected that Xiaohu might be a kid of Asperger’s syndrome. Therefore I tried to seek help from the student counselors. The conclusion derived from the cooperation among school, parents and medical profession is that Xiaohu is diagnosed as Asperger’s syndrome kid. The pattern of such disease is that the kid is obstinate, lacking of empathy but full of questions. He would react by anti-social behavior once he did not get satisfying answer to his question instantly.

After understanding the disease, I have a clearer picture in mind regarding to the behavior of Xiaohu. Thus I was less anxious than before. During this period, besides practice qi-gong, I often mediated and thought over Shifu’s loving words to us dizi, thus my emotion would not be easily distracted by Xiaohu’s behaviors. In Tai Ji Men, the most important thing that Shifu teaches is the thought of "love and peace." Shifu always gives us positive encouragement and believes our ability of doing well. The idea influence me deeply and ways of leading a class. When the students do good things, I praised them greatly. On the other hand, when fights occur, I taught them by telling them stories instead of blaming and punishing them so that they would comprehend the right concept.

I would also plan field trips for the class on the weekends. I hoped that students would have better relationships by spending more time together, care and love others. Other students, after understanding Xiaohu’s characteristics, have gradually learned to tolerate and take care of Xiaohu in every trip. At the same time, they learn to get along with someone like him.

Moreover, Shifu reminds us to have mercy in mind, which means to be considerate and empathetic. I found that Xiaohu was from a single parent family from a family visit. Therefore he had to be on his own from the early age at the first grade of elementary school. In Xiaohu’s childhood, his mother and teachers would punish him very often since they lacked understanding of his special situations. By cumulating such bad experience for a while, Xiaohu acted defensively and emotionally against the seniors. On the other hand, because Xiaohu didn’t understand himself, and confused why his behaviors would upset teachers and classmates, he fell into personal dilemmas mentally.

Understanding Xiaohu’s background, I found that I could face and settle Xiaohu’s extraordinary behavior with more positive mind set. At the meanwhile, I developed a peaceful way to get along with Xiaohu. I struck a deal with Xiaohu that he was allowed to raise his hand to ask any questions in the class, but if he was not satisfied with the answer from teacher, he had to wait to discuss with me after the class or after the school. With the promise, I hope Xiaohu realize that not only we teachers pay great attention to his questions but also he learns to "be patient." The agreement was far more fruitful than expected. The brief time after class gave me the opportunity to get along with Xiaohu individually so that we can have conversation in depth. I also taught him how to deal with personal relationship.

The love seed has sprouted in Xiaohu’s heart because of the caring from the students and me. This can be observed from some examples. One of them was that when I got the whole class to play balls on the playground, one girl cried because of the problem of getting along with classmates. At that moment, Xiaohu ran all the way back to classroom, grabbed a box of tissue and quickly walked back to the playground. He delivered it to that girl and said that "this is for you to wipe tears." I was deeply touched when I saw this scene because it is impossible for Xiaohu to do such thing in the past. It makes me feel that love can really change a person.

Recalling the time when I knew there was such a person called Xiaohu in the class, I never thought that I could changed him. Fortunately, I was encouraged and supported by the positive power that I learned in Tai Ji Men. My heart was more peaceful and I got more wisdom to help Xiaohu. All of these changes are unanticipated. I would like to thank my Shifu who teaches us with love and patience and set a good example by his own conduct.