Tai Ji Men Qigong Academy

My Sweet Mr. Right

I started the relationship with my boyfriend (and now husband) through telephone calls. The first subject we talked about is: "What are the meanings, values, and purposes of life?" Most people might have been scared away just by mentioning this subject. But the two of us freaks enjoyed very much talking about the philosophy of lives, and later decided to spend the rest of our lives together talking about this subject, so we got married.

Anyhow, despite my passion for the profound philosophy, being a woman, I too sometimes need sweet-talk from my husband. But this Physics majored handsome man could do anything except flattering me with honeyed words. I angrily asked him: "Don’t you see my beauty, my talent in knowledge, and my diligence in cooking and keeping the house flawlessly clean? How could you not saying anything nice to me?" My husband said: "I know you’re smart, but I won’t force you to cook and do all those things everyday. You can take it easy. My family used to clean the house once a half year and life still went on." My God! These words drove me even angrier; I was expecting a few nice words, but on the contrary, I was scolded by my husband. And I had the urge to punch him in the face.

That scenario happened several times, and it always ended in anger. One day my husband suggested: "How about you write down the words that you want me to say to you and I can read them out to please you." I felt frustrated and said: "It’s none sense if the words are not from your heart. Am I not deserved your compliment?" Then he replied innocently: "Nothing can do with that. I really don’t know how to praise people".

Somehow, I didn’t get angry this time, on the contrary, I was wise because I recalled the words Shifu often said: "Turn your mind". So I talked to myself: "My husband had poor childhood where his teachers only knew of ways to punish students and no one taught him how to praise people. So it is not that he didn’t see my advantages but he just doesn’t know how to praise people." So, I wrote down a few lines: "Honey, you’re smart, beautiful, and good at cooking. I’m very lucky to marry you." I handed the writing to my husband, and I asked him to digest the writing and then say it to me in his own words. Few minutes later, he approached me embarrassedly and spoke to me in a strange tone: "Honey, you’re smart, beautiful, and good at cooking. I’m very lucky to marry you." Hearing this, I cried not because I am touched, but I was angry that he didn’t change even a word. This was too far from sincerity! But at the same time, the image of Shifu being always so patience to encourage and teach dizi emerged in my mind. So I said to my husband: "I know most men won’t do this even if their wives write down the lines. But you try so hard to read it for me. You must love me very much. Thank you!" Thereafter, whenever I want some sweet words from my husband, I will write down the lines and my husband will read it to me, and gradually he learned to change the lines into his own words.

Shifu ever said: "See your families’ hard works and feel for each other." And in order to reply to my husband’s sincerity, every day, I am thankful to what my husband has done for our family. When he washes dishes in the kitchen, I’ll hold him from the back and tell him in a naughty tone: "You looks handsome the way you wash the dishes!" When he sweeps the floor, I will tell him: "You’ve done a better job than me, thank you." After he teaches our children of their home works, I will smile and tell him: "We’re fortunate to have a genius father as our Physics and English teacher. If not you, our children could fail their English class and mathematics." And I often tell my families and friends that "Marrying him is the best choice in my life", and that make my husband very happy.

When my husband joined Tai Ji Men, Shifu specially reminded him to learn how to speak good words, and he really follows Shifu’s teaching. And now, he will tell me automatically: "Dear, you’re my sweet heart. I would like to marry you in next life." And he hugs, kisses me, and says he love me every day before going to work. Our two sons also learn what their father does. They will wish me a nice day before I go to work. And race with me to hug my husband when he comes home. The two brothers usually hug and tell each other "I love you" after practicing qigong every day.

If without Tai Ji Men and Shifu, I could have still been angry at my husband’s being unable to say sweet words to me; my husband could have still been very dumb about telling thanks to people; and marriage could have been at the verge of getting shattered. Thanks to Shifu that my family join Tai Ji Men together to learn from both Shifu’s behaviors and teaching. My husband and I love each other more and more, and we have a warm and happy family. It’s really very lucky.